My Little Grey Book

Dear Mel,
               i have procrastinate in writing this letter for days.. dunno what to write 1st off,and somehow i feel it’s meaningless… but still, i have so much to say that i simply can’t put it off anymore..lately i have been thinking about US, our friendship… missing those days where we used to hang out together,laugh together,share our hopes and dreams together,and most importantly,how we can just sit and say nothing for hours side by side each other…
                  i remember the time when we got really close was in our Form 1 days… we’ll stay back in sch on fridays and just talk… smetimes Elaine joins us too if i’m not mistaken.. she did rite? u’ll tell me that u wanna be an archeologist,and i’ll tell u all the things that i wanna be ranging from teacher to lawyer to air-stewardess.. (but what have luck i grow to be not-so-tall =P)later years,our hangout place eventually moved to the sch field.remember how we used to walk all da way to da end of the field where we’ll collect the red shiny seed thingy. i forgot what it was called.
                  now,i feel sad remembering all those years. i yearn to turn back time and feel your presence beside me again.i’ve missed u.as we grow up,after leaving sec. sch..things hasn’t been quite how it seems. u and i both noes that there are certain things that has happened that somehow had jeopardized our friendship.it may seem petty now,but u and i both cant deny the impact that incident had on our friendship. we were somehow,believe or not,forced to take sides.sides that will pull us further from each other.i always believe things happen for a reason,but i dunno what to make of what happened to US.
                  i regret for not able to refer to u as my "best friend" anymore.no matter how i try to tell myself u are,deep down,i noe i’m being hypocritical.we dun talk to each other tat much anymore,we dun see each other that much,we dun exchange live’s ups n downs anymore,for what i noe,i have been going through a lot of things by myself lately.yes,u may think that i have a bf n he can b my best fren.yes,i tell him everything,but sometimes guys are the lousiest listener and comforter for all i noe.that makes me miss u even more.in these few years,i have learn to build solid concrete walls ard me where emotional and heart matters concern.i haven’t found myself a new best friend.it’s just very hard to trust ppl these days and i feel that i can cope on my own,and with the support of my bf.
                no matter what,i feel happy for u..from what i see,u’re never short of frens,true frens..i’m happy to see that there will always be that someone who will always be there for u,to hold u,to comfort u,to listen to u.your new best friend i would say.dun get me wrong.i’m not angry at u or her.because from what i see,she deserves u more than i do…remember how i would tell u that "hey,u nv meet up with me when u’re back but u met up with so-n-so..i’m jealous"?i really meant it when i said that i am jealous.i really do.but it’s time to let u go.like i’ve said,no matter how i tell myself u r still my best fren,we dun act like one anymore..i’m just glad that memories remain and nv die..
                                                                                      Your friend,
                                                                                           karen

ps:for the lucky and happy people out there who have the one person in the world where they can call as their best friend,i envy u..however,do treasure him or her as best frens are hard to get……i’m still on my quest on finding one. wish me luck.. =)

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