My Little Grey Book

i’m sure most of the people out there is now more or less informed on the rampant killing that took place 2 days ago in Blacksburg,Virginia USA. a south korean national named Cho Seung-Hui, 23 is believed to be responsible in manslaughtering 32 people and injuring at least 15 others. he was described as being a loner.news article wrote that he was a depress man,always eating by himself,always keep to himself.

i have read numerous articles on forums,people stating their opinions on why this things happen n how this thing happen. one forummer from MYB stated that this can all be linked to the Charles Darwin’s theory of "survival of the fittest". his argument was that as the population increase,everyone’s competing against on another be it for food,status,power,or even love.he has got a strong point but IMO that is not all. Cho was said to have written some violent articles for a sch play,and that he also complains of wealthy kids and their debauchery lifestyle.so i’m guessin at some point in his life,he has been tormented by these people resultin in his disturbed behaviour.

it is saddening to hear that 32 lives are taken away just like that.frens are lost,daughters/sons are never coming home,children are never gonna get to hug their moms/dads again..

so people,this scenario is not entirely impossible to happen in Malaysia.yes,we have strict rules on obtaining firearms..but humans will do anything when they are desperate.even sledgehammers,cutters,parangs can be a weapon of mass destructions.always rmber to treat others nicely just like how u wanna b treated in return.no matter how rich/pretty/handsome/smart/capable u are..always b humble.u just might not know when ur arrogance/ignorance will drive someone up the wall.

so guys,if u’re stress,go jerk it off..masturbate,have sex,watch porn,do sports.. do watever that can help u destress..if not destress,at least minimise it.i’m not suggesting entirely on these methods,if u in fact have a problem,get proper help.

same goes for gurls..go shopping,have a manicure/pedicure,spa treatment or u can even masturbate to release stress..erm,forget the last one.. i dunthink gurls have the mood to do it when they’re stress..we’ll probably just keep ranting or crying…

everyone,always be alert,be safe,stay safe………. remind yrself of this massacre the next time u’re gonna snap out of anger..

1. the alarm was especially annoying this morning.. but then again.. who would like the sound of their alarm clock..? (unless of course it marks the starting of a very special day.. e.g birthday,marriage)
2. the lady selling pan mee at the newly opened hawker stall near my college has a very cute high pitch voice
3. sorry but i gotta say this..her pan mee sucks.. worst i’ve tasted -too salty-
4. a very cute guy came into the shop with his cute gf.. (nvm her..he’s really cute and that’s all that matters :P)
5. an old lady smile at me when i was walking to my college after eating the pan mee.i smiled back.
6. library was packed.manage to share a table with a girl,whom eventually left after 20 mins.
7. the bunch of indian students sitting at the nearby table just cant stop making noises.. i was irritated.
8. library air-cond was so cold..i kept sneezing and had a runny nose
9. the guy sitting at the next table’s kinda cute
10. it was drizzlin when i left the library.
11. the lady selling economy rice is having a bad day due to rain(she’s a nice lady)..i got my dinner from her.

my day has not ended… can’t conclude whether today is a good or bad day.. hope u have a good day.

like it or not,we’re doomed to face with many choices in life..many decisions to be made..from the smallest matter, e.g which undies to wear.. to the bigger ones e.g what car to buy..we are to come out with a decision,which means a choice gotta be made..some way or another. in a more abstract way,for instance,if u fight with ur spouse/bf/gf/partner.. either u go berserk straight away or if u’re sensible enough,u’ll evaluate the problem n make a choice from there,whether to b angry or not.i notice that the same thing happen time n time again..lookin back at all da past arguments i shared with my partner cum boyfriend,i was always the one to get angry regardless of whether the problem lies in me or not.u noe,sometimes when u just screw up and when things go wrong and an argument starts…u just lose it..(btw all my arguments/fights/dramas dun live past 24 hours,we somehow will settle it in a diplomatic way.healthy fights i call ‘em) after each argument,i’ll recall wat would’ve happen if i were to keep my cool and not get angry.if it’s my fault,i will just apologise.if it’s not my fault,i will make him apologise..instead of displayin all the princess-sy(pls ignore my informal word) traits where i guess all guys hate in girls. soon,i realise that it’s better this way..less hurt means more love. that’s y i learn to control my temper and think twice before i start to get angry (at least that’s wat i do MOST of the time now.. hehe) oh yea..i still need to scratch my lousy reaction whenever he advise me on smth i did wrong-i will be very quiet(part angry part guilty)- n he hates it when i’m quiet…

so back to makin choices,my point is..u can never walk on two different roads at the same time… it’s either gonna be road A or road B.. a choice has to be made. another has to be sacrificed. a fren told me that "humans tend to be rebellious n choose the way that will make them happy". my reply was "rebellious choice often only offer temporary happiness". remember,when makin choices,make sure u make a wise one.

okay..after sulking,ranting and going all emo about my disastrous Accounts paper,i made myself study for my Econs paper. i had 4 days free before the Econs paper,n believe it or not,i waste no time..! studied for Econs the whole 4 days..! actually i’m pretty proud of myself..writing blog n regret after what had happened did help me realise that i’m actually wasting time & resources by not working hard ENOUGH to score. i’m not tryin to be snobbish or sort here,but i noe i have d ability to get As for all my papers..n yet i dun..all cause i take life too easily..it’s time for me to grow up n be more responsible about myself. my parents are too nice to pressure me on my studies..noone had ever tell me "hey!go study!" or "hey!go do yr homework!". i used to have enough discipline to get my ass up and bury myself in books. (erm..i said enough as i always studied last min. BUT…i pass up all my homeworks ok? :P) so i guess it turns to be a habit.. studyin last min.

so back to Econs,i could do all questions n actually find that it’s easy..! lol really really crossin my fingers hoping that it will b an A.. i got 45/60 internal marks,which was made up of mid-term n assignment marks..thus i can only afford to lose 12 out of 100 marks on my final paper to score an A (80%).. even if not A,i hope i can get a B+

is it true that there’re not selling any Good Charlotte concert tickets? i heard it’s an exclusive money can’t buy performance at the Stadium Bkt Jalil this 21st April. anyone noes where else can i get the tickets apart from winning it thru Hitz.fm? i have been trying to b the 10th caller thru but the closest i got was when Azura answered and tell me that i was the 6th caller.. ARGHhhHH..! i wanna go….

it is only when u start to accept the imperfections in a person that u will see his/her perfection that lies underneath..

good luck looking through all d imperfections..

i had about 1 week to prepare for my accounts paper.. 1 WEEK! and how do i utilize the 1 week? lazing…shopping…movies…. a fren have been asking me for group studies and i’ve been puttin him off time n time again.. so,exam was this morning.. started studying YESTERDAY! great isn’t it? still,i felt depress yesterday for having to force myself to study..! (can u imagine…?) since when have i become so lazy? dislike studying so much? when…??? argh… i am so gonna screw my life upside down if i continue on this way.. i think i’m taking life too easily… pampered too much.. sigh…

so,how i did u may ask.. i have good news n bad news.. good news is.. i can answer the questions.. bad news is.. NOT ENUFF TIME! 4 questions for 3 hours..! what the hell? i alrdy spent more than an hour for Q1 itself.. Q2 looks complicated so i leave it blank (so idiotic of me to attempt Q2 on the QUESTION PAPER..scribbled on da QUESTION PAPER…left the answer sheet blank for Q2) so i move on to answer Q3 n Q4… barely have time to pen down my last word. DAMNATION!!

so..gone are hopes of getting A for this paper…! i’ll keep my fingers cross for a B+ although i noe i dun deserve it.. (lazy ppl like me.. deserves to b stabbed in d eyeballs,burnt with charcoals,screwed upside down.. i’m depress..post-exam)

to Eu Earn,if u’re reading this.. i’m truly sorry for not calling u yesterday when i studied for exam k? it was alrdy 12am when i realise that i’m missin u.. sorry bro.. perhaps we can group study for Econs.

what’s next? ECONOMICS..! (wednesday) wish me luck peeps.. hopefully i won’t get stabbed in d eye,burnt,nor screwed this time around..

hope u guys enjoy reading it as much as i do…

TOMKINS : THE FUTURE HAS BEGUN

humans tend to only appreciate what they HAD once they’ve lost it. why is it so? for instance, in my case…. erm,let’s c.. back to when i just came to KL to study, i was doing my A Levels in Inti Subang.. so i stayed with a couple of frens frm Melaka, rented a room. i moved a total of 4 houses for the period of 2 years alone.

my first landlady was Mrs. Koh.. u must b disciplined to stay in her house. NO BOYS are allowed BEYOND the FRONT DOOR. so all our BFs,frens who are made up of XY sex chromosomes had to sit outside whenever they drop by for a visit. (she’s kind enuff to prepare a bench outside the front door though).i stayed in d master bedroom together with Rena,Li Hui n Melissa…and then 2 of my frens,Rena & Melissa are moving out coz they had each finish their pre-u,and the other will b continuing in her hometown campus.

so then i moved to d 2nd house with another fren,Li Hui.we’re staying with Li Wen n Caroline in this house. Landlady’s Aunty Lily. rather nice lady..husband’s Uncle Raymond. well, we sure hear alot abt ‘em even before we move in. money-minded n such.. typical landlords.. they’ll come n clean the house once a week together with their maid. Aunty Lily will scrub the house sparkling clean.when i 1st move in,i stay with a gurl from China. her name’s Linna. she was taking English courses in ELS Subang. we became good frens.. (thank God that i can converse in Mandarin although i cant read nor write a single chinese character) when Linna finished her course,she went back to China and in move Phebe. a very smart n sweet girl. u’ll just melt at her innocence. considerate n good roomie.. -bad memories in this house was that my bunny was killed there.i had no xperience what-so-ever on rearing rabbits,so i put the baby bunny in d cage outside of d house..next thing i noe,it was killed by a cat in d middle of d nite,heads nowhere to b found…i cried my lungs out)-

soon,Li Hui had finished her A Levels n are movin back to Melaka before deciding on which Uni to pursue on for her tertiary studies.so i moved in to my boyfren’s place..finished my A Levels n continue staying in KL where i worked in Hewlett Packard.

during the time when i was working for HP,i move again to stay with my A Level classmate,Cheau Jing.that was when i thought i’m gonna permanently stay with her,thinking that i most probably will continue studying for my Degree in Subang. i hate to say this, but i totally regret not doing so…! back to the story,staying with Cheau Jing was fun. we would walk to Carrefour,shop for groceries and cook. she’ll wait for me to come home from work before preparing dinner together. n we’ll have our dinner while watching Korean soap drama.. arhh..i sure like hell miss those days…

and now,staying in Cheras is not exactly fun.i’m like away from all the fun and excitement in Subang. just ask anyone from ard there n they’ll tell you that tat place never sleeps.cyber cafes,mamaks,cafes,pool centres,colleges,boutiques,cute guys,pretty gurls…u just name it… it’s there!(i kenot help it when u hear of me travelling to Subang a few times a week from Cheras)

i really regret for not studyng harder to get better grades in my A Levels.. (in case u din noe,that’s y i’m stuck in UCSI..poor A Levels grades..Metropolitan just wont accept me..and i din wanna continue in Inti..which is dumb of me!)

so…this is wat ppl say… "u’ll only appreciate when u’ve lost it"… for me,a huge loss..! =/

reminder to self : pleaseee stop wasting time,get ur ass up and going…. STUDY!! accounts paper is on friday..6th of April !! stop wasting time doing nothing n start studying for finals…!!

i’m hopeless when it comes to studying during study break.. sigh…